Be our Guest
by Mie779
Summary: Parody/humor. Mix "The Beauty and the Beast" with "TSOM"... and you get this... just for fun.


**A/N: well this little spoof is something that I started on some months back… my weird mind linking my all time favourite Disney movie, The beauty and the beast, with my all time favourite Musical, The sound of music. (well B &B is a musical too,… when I saw the new movie with my hubby a few weeks ago, he whispered in surprise "Is it a musical?". All said with some slight horror in his voice… :D :D *LOL* he is NOT into musicals… :P but I kinda thought he knew that B&B was filled with wonderful music… but I think he didn't… ;) )**

 **Now this is by all means a parody and should not be taken too serious… things might be odd, or mismatched. I might have written something that doesn't match with other things in the story… (I don't know how many times I tried to write Miss Potts instead of… well you'll see who… ;) don't want to give to much away.) So please bear with me on any obvious mistakes I've made… and no it has not been beta read… Just want to get it out there to find out what you think about it. Enjoy the fun.**

Be our Guest.

"Gretl please stop bouncing so much, you make me dizzy." Liesl rolled her eyes at her round bouncy sister…

All this came to the blasted curse that had been cast over the von Trapp villa. One year ago, to this date, her father had made a horrible mistake of sending an old beggar, away from their home. When he had refused her the second time, she transformed into a beautiful enchantress. He had tried to apologize, but it was too late. She cast a spell over the entire household.

The weather had been just as dreadful as it was today. Everything from that day had been a weird dream like state of living. Liesl sighed at the thought of how their lives had all changed that night. Looking at her self in the large mirror hanging over the fireplace, the one still somewhat intact after her fathers complete rage in finding out what had happened to himself and his family.

Liesl was now in the shape of a champagne bottle, after awhile she was able to only semi-laugh at the irony of it all. She was now the one and only thing she had wanted to taste since she became a teenager. How would one be able to taste oneself?

Friedrich was now an army green toy soldier, bound to hop around in a weird manner. But he lived up to his new form and made fun of the whole thing by commanding everyone around like a true soldier.

Louisa was equally green but in a whole different form, a toy frog was her new self. She found great pleasure in creeping up on people and would make a loud croaking sound right behind them.

Kurt was also in a form of one of his true passions, food, though in a toy like form, a plastic hamburger, one of his favourite foods.

Brigitta had of cause turned into the shape of a book.

Martha was a pink umbrella, she found great fun in opening herself up at odd times, making everyone annoyed.

And little Gretl had become a bouncy ball, and when she had discovered that her new form gave her new ways to move around, she had surly put a few more gray hairs on poor Frau Smith, if she had had hair that is. Liesl looked over at their housekeeper, now in the shape of a teapot. She had been distraught when the "incident" had happened, but now she tried to keep the spirits up in everyone, especially the children. Since their father had withdrawn him self from any form of family life. Liesl almost felt like crying, thinking about what her father had been through. In all honesty she thought that he had gotten to brute end of the "deal", the spell had turned him into a beast. Yes a real beast with wild hair and fangs all together. It was only on rare occasions that the children saw their father, and often it was in a dimmed and almost darkened family room. He was too ashamed to even let his own children see him.

Now all the children were gathered in the family room this evening, trying to find joyful things to do. But the lack of their father's presence made it so much more difficult.

Suddenly there was a faint knock on the front door, and everyone rushed to look out into the hallway. Their old butler Franz, now in a shape of a mantle clock, hobbled towards the door. Had he been able to look at his own clock displays he would know that the hour was late, far too late to receive any visitors, not that a whole lot of visitors came by in these times.

Opening the door slightly he quickly moved behind the door, concealing himself. He had had a few visitors being shocked by how things looked inside.

"Hello…" a female voice came from the outside. No one dared to answer; they never knew how the person would react when they realized the house had been enchanted.

"Hello… is there someone home. Please give me shelter for the storm, I'm drenched to the bone, I need some place to stay for the night." The female voice came stronger, and suddenly they could all see her face peeking inside.

"Look Liesl it's a woman, a woman who can…" Gretl whispered, but was cut short by her older siblings, "shush, be quiet!"

The woman took a deep breath and ventured into this strange dark house. The place was dusty and in disorder. Several chairs were lying scattered around the hallway, and a large hallway mirror was partly shattered. The silence was quit eerie and she heard her own footsteps echo out in the grand space. She shuddered and gathered her drenched coat around her, hoping that someone would find mercy in her.

Suddenly there was a slight creek of a door hinge, she turned towards the sound and in the dim light she thought she saw several shadows move fast around inside the room next to the hallway. Curious about who might be in there she approached the door.

There was a fire lit in the fireplace, and no other light, she found this very strange. Looking around she found no one inside, only a pile of toys and other miscellaneous things lay behind one of the couches. Hoping that no one would mind that she borrowed some heat from the fire she quickly moved towards the warmth.

Quickly rubbing her hands together she sighed in relief, her cold hands starting to prickle from the sudden heat. At one point she thought she saw movement out of the corner of her eye, she whipped her head around but found the room empty. Shuddering in a slight panic she rubbed her hands a few more times against the heat, and then turned around, hoping to find someone who could help her.

Still standing next to the fire, she looked out into the room; everything looked dusty, as if there had not been a living soul in there for ages. Worry started to fill her, as she still somehow sensed that someone was looking at her. Her imaginative mind started to conjure all sorts of scenarios; this place might be haunted for all she knew.

Suddenly the eerie silence was cut short by a strange clacking sound coming from the hallway. Then she saw the moving light too, she took a few steps towards the door, thinking that someone might be coming, either to help her or throw her out. When the light had come closer to the door she was shocked beyond words at what she saw. The light in itself was not so strange, it was a candlestick, but what baffled her was the fact that the candlestick seemed to be moving all by it self.

"Hello everyone, why are you all so quiet tonight, your uncle Maxie was just, eh… well inspecting the downstairs wine cellars, you know to…" the candlestick stopped talking the moment he spotted the woman standing wide-eyed at the fireplace.

"Ah hello there my dear, didn't know we had visitors tonight." The candlestick hopped towards the woman, who by know had got her senses back together and started to scream.

"Max you're scaring the poor girl get away from her." Frau Smith chimed in and moved from her hiding place behind one of the footstools in the room. When the girl spotted the moving teapot she screamed yet again and started to panic. Then several things happened at once, the children had given up on being unmoving, and filled out behind the couch this causing her to nearly faint. She managed to move over to a nearby armchair and sat down, her eyes wide with fear as she saw various toys move towards her… was that a moving champagne bottle? She started to feel slightly lightheaded.

"Now, calm down everyone," the teapot said, and gave everyone a hard look, "let the girl breath a little." Then she turned towards the girl and jumped a few steps towards her, "I understand this must be frightening for you, believe me, when all this happened to us we took weeks to get used to this."

"How… how is this possible?" Her voice was edged with a little fear, but at the same time curious enough to start looking more closely at the moving objects.

"Ah well my dear that is one long and dreadful story." Uncle Max put in, and waved his candlestick arms dramatically around.

"You see this place got enchanted when the Captain was foolish, and quit selfish, and refused to let an old beggar take refuges from at storm. She was really an enchantress, and did warn him that beauty is found within. She cast a spell on the whole villa, and making everyone inside into… well… _things._ " Frau Smith explained with a heavy heart.

"Oh how dreadful, I… I'm sorry." The woman whispered, and looked closer to each object… eh… person standing in front of her. She couldn't even start to imagine what it was like to live as a teapot.

"What is your name?" A small bouncy ball hopped forward and gave their visitor a huge smile. She liked the woman.

"I'm Maria, nice to meet you all… I… I'm really sorry to intrude like this… I just hoped to get some warmth and maybe a place to stay for the night."

"That would be awesome; you might even be the one who can break the…" the bouncy balls words were cut short by the champagne bottle. "Shush Gretl, no talking about _that!_ "

"Why?" Gretl gave a sour pout in the direction of her sister, "but she really could be the one…"

"NO! It has to happen from within the heart." Frau Smith explained and gave Gretl a stern look.

Maria was quit puzzle as to what they were talking about, but didn't want to intrude too much. Just then her stomach made a loud growling noise; she looked at them all with an embarrassed smile.

"Well I am a little hungry." She looked at them sheepishly.

"We can fix that." Max chimed in and clapped his hands in elation. But before he could do more about it, he was cut short by someone clearing their throat. They all looked towards the door and saw Franz, looking sterner than ever.

"That will NOT happen. You know how the Captain is with having strangers in the house, she simply must leave now!" Franz clicked his clock displays making it quit clear that he meant every word he said.

"Aw come on old chap, the poor thing is starving." Max urged on, hopping over to the old butler, placing a friendly arm around the mantle clock. Franz took an angry step away from the cheery candlestick and stated, "NO, it will not happen." Then he hopped out of the room.

"I'm terrible sorry for causing so much trouble for you all, I'm quit warm now, I'll manage to find some place else to spend the night." Maria whispered in dismay and tried to give the toys, which by now she had figured out, had to be children all together. She felt sorry for the bunch of them; living like this had to be difficult.

"No young lady, this will not do. You're our guest, and when having guests it also means having food." Max stated and then told Frau Smith to come with him to the kitchen, leaving Maria behind with the children.

They all scurried closer, all looking equally curious about their new visitor. And in no time they all started of by telling Maria their names, and after awhile they were all chatting happily with her, like they'd known her for years.

Suddenly they were interrupted by Max and Frau Smith who told them all to come into the dinning room. They all hurried inside, Kurt leading the way; though they all already had dinner he was hungry again.

When everyone was seated Max made a dramatic entrance and bowed to Maria, "Dinner is served Mademoiselle." And to Maria's great surprise the dinning hall erupted in music and singing, all kinds of silverware, plates, napkins, glasses came flying into the room. The show was spectacular and the music was wonderful. Maria was elated beyond words, she had always loved music.

 _Be our guest  
Be our guest  
Put our service to the test  
Tie your napkin 'round your neck, cherie  
And we provide the rest  
Soup du jour  
Hot hors d'oeuvres  
Why, we only live to serve  
Try the grey stuff, it's delicious  
Don't believe me? Ask the dishes  
They can sing  
They can dance  
After all, Miss, this is France  
And a dinner here is never second best  
Go on, unfold your menu  
Take a glance and then you'll  
Be our guest  
Oui, our guest  
Be our guest  
Beef ragout  
Cheese souffle  
Pie and pudding "en flambe"  
We'll prepare and serve with flair  
A culinary cabaret  
You're alone  
And you're scared  
But the banquet's all prepared  
No one's gloomy or complaining  
While the flatware's entertaining  
We tell jokes  
I do tricks  
With my fellow candlesticks  
And it's all in perfect taste that you can bet  
Come on and lift your glass  
You've won your own free pass  
To be out guest  
If you're stressed  
It's fine dining we suggest  
Be our guest  
Be our guest  
Be our guest  
Life is so unnerving  
For a servant who's not serving  
He's not whole without a soul to wait upon  
Ah, those good old days when we were useful  
Suddenly those good old days are gone  
Ten years we've been rusting  
Needing so much more than dusting  
Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills  
Most days we just lay around the castle  
Flabby, fat and lazy  
You walked in and oops-a-daisy!  
It's a guest  
It's a guest  
Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed  
Wine's been poured and thank the Lord  
I've had the napkins freshly pressed  
With dessert  
She'll want tea  
And my dear that's fine with me  
While the cups do their soft shoeing  
I'll be bubbling, I'll be brewing  
I'll get warm  
Piping hot  
Heaven's sakes! Is that a spot?  
Clean it up! We want the company impressed  
We've got a lot to do  
Is it one lump or two  
For you, our guest  
She's our guest  
She's our guest  
She's our guest  
Be our guest  
Be our guest  
Our command is your request  
It's ten years since we had anybody here  
And we're obsessed  
With your meal  
With your ease  
Yes, indeed, we aim to please  
While the candlelight's still glowing  
Let us help you  
We'll keep going  
Course by course  
One by one  
'Til you shout, enough, I'm done  
Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest  
Tonight you'll prop your feet up  
But for now, let's eat up  
Be our guest  
Be our guest  
Be our guest  
Please, be our guest _

When the show ended Kurt sighed in relief, "finally! Can we eat now?" Everyone laughed and soon everyone was eating joyfully. It had been a long time since it had been fun and enjoyable to eat dinner.

Suddenly the joyful scene was cut sort when the double door swung open with a loud bang and a large form emerged from the darkened hallway. Everyone screeched in surprise, and all the children took cover under the table. They knew the growl emanating from the doorway, their father had entered the room.

"Who dares entering my house without permission," the Captain roared in anger, and found his best friend, now a too joyful candlestick, and knew instantly that he must have been the one scheming this whole thing.

"Ah well, you see…" Max paused slightly, he knew how his old friend looked on joyful escapades in this house, but he had merely hoped that this girl might be the one lifting the spell. Only true love could banish the curse over the whole household. But Max knew that affaires like love were best to happen on its own course of time.

"The poor thing was cold and wet; we had to give her shelter for the storm, Sir." Frau Smith chimed in, hoping to calm her employer's obvious rage.

Captain von Trapp looked toward the girl, she looked terrified beyond words; her whole body trembled in fear. Yet her eyes were clear and blue, like the summer sky, sparkling with something he had thought lost forever. Hope! He grunted in slight acceptance, but made it quit clear that he was not pleased with the idea of having guests in his house. He twirled around and stomped away, they could hear him stamp his way up the stairs.

"Well that went well, don't you think?" Max tried to give a short laugh, but it fell flat on the ground when he saw the downcast faces of the children, who by now had emerged from under the table.

"Now dears, it's time for bed. Max be a dear and show Maria to the guestroom." Frau Smith ordered and clapped her teapot lid, making sure that all the children followed her upstairs.

"I'm terrible sorry about the trouble I put you all in." Maria said quietly while following Max up the stairs.

"Pff… never mind dear… Georg had always been somewhat of a grumpy type when things don't go as he pleases…it have not always been like this…but please don't think too much about it. Get a goodnight sleep, and you'll see things much clearer in the morning." Max opened the door to the guest room, and bid Maria goodnight and hopped towards his own room.

Georg! Maria turned the name around in her head and she realized that there was a human being behind the frightening beast that had stopped their joyful meal. This fact alone gave her hope that someday this horrible spell would be broken. She just wondered how this would ever happen. Would this household ever find peace, and love again?

Beauty lies within. This much was true, as the next day Maria managed to teach the children one of her favourite songs, and as the Captain heard their youthful voices sing "the sound of music", something melted inside his cold heart. Thus clearing the path for him to find love again, and in the end the beast found his beauty, becoming a man again and living happily ever after with Maria and their seven children.

FIN

 **A/N: please leave a review… hope you like it…. I'm not going to work further with this…I'm going to leave it like this… you all know the story… they fall in love and puff the spell is broken, and they live happily ever after….**

 **And I got two unfinished stories in here… and my mind want to continue my "the Masquerade" story too… baaah…. Give me TIME, please, to write… (got three girls and family, that takes a lot of my time…. ;) )**


End file.
